ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
even my farts smell like vagina
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
