? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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