I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
