Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
You're a waste of cheezeits
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Randomize
