that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
