You really coming over, don't trick.
Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
