i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
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