Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Randomize
