I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Randomize
