she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
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