She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
