Dude my mom stole all your condoms
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
I should be sponsored by Trojan
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
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