I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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