sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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