did you get engaged???
I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Randomize
