The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
