she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Randomize
