you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
Randomize
