I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
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