chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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