You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
I deserve this hangover.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Randomize
