This phone does not accept mass texts. Try again.
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Randomize
