Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Randomize