Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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