Will you blow on my dice?
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
