dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
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