I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Randomize
