just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
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