I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize