I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
