jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize