How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
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he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
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It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
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