I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Randomize
