cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
