youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
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