I could have mohawked her pubes.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
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