The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
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