They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
So much rum. So many feels.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Randomize
