This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
This baby is an asshole
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
