"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
I look excited, but its just a facade.
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