let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
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