Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
