I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
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