I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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