I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
