no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
Why is your signature on my underwear?
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Randomize
