definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
