I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
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