I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize