He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Such a big mess for such a small penis
Randomize
