Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
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i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
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