It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
