Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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