so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Randomize
