I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
I did not marry a roomba.
Randomize
