whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
My ass is underappreciated
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
