glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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