I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
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