Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
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